Saturday, December 26, 2009

As of Late.

Here I am once again. As I turn from the service road and began to cross the bridge I glance at my almost empty gas tank. I can’t help but think about how I have felt that same feeling at that moment one hundred times before. It’s like a bad habit that holds me down. My whole body melts and my heart sinks. To be in this place again, where I have closed my eyes and been running at what feels like a thousand miles an hour and then to wake up and realize I am in the same place I started. I do this to myself over and over, proverbs sixteen keeps ringing in my ears but I am too stubborn. I am quoting it with eloquence but words can be just that, something I’ve said but not actually done. I do not understand God’s love for me. Time after time I have grown impatient and planned my own thoughts and when my dreams and expectations don’t meet reality He has picked me up once again from my fragile and broken state.